Chapter 1 - -

Chapter 1 I looked upon the page with a deadly smile, without even noticing the content. My thoughts were far away from those pages, they were merely a security for me to hide behind, so that nobody would spot me. Especially Scarlett, my daughter, who was sitting in a chair next to me looking into the distance while the mild sommer wind swung around her red hair, was not supposed to recognise anything. I had worked too much for that day to come and it was impossible to repeat that. It was too late anyway to stop it and I did not want to stop it, for my own and Scarlett’s sake. Any moment, she, whom I distasted and was so repugnant about, would put her lips to the cup with the black tea and empty it as usual in one go. Only this time, it would be the last time and I took care of that. Never again would I have to endure that person by my side, who could only make my blood boil in anger and who, in all that time, only ever did me one good thing, my beloved daughter Scarlett. A clatter and a scream following instantly made me jump. With a fake worry on my face I quickly followed my daughter, whereupon my book fell to the ground carelessly. While externally I was displaying concern, inside I was already celebrating my new won freedom, which nothing could get in the way of anymore, if I would just mourn over the dead body of my wife. They could never account me for the death of my wife. Never, I would make sure. I ran down the spiral staircase of the south tower quickly, the scream of my now dead wife still sounding in my ears. Like a machine I followed my daughter, towards the vociferation of roused people. It took all my concentration to keep the concerned face, as pleasure spreaded in my insides. Finally we arrived at the open salon door, where under the cornice roused attandants were moving uneasily. I passed my daughter and squeezed myself through the emotional crowd, which seemed to me like a hord of whining and screaming brats. ”What is going on here? What happened,” I asked over the turmoil and fought my way through to the point where peopele were standing. I pushed Charlotte, our maid, ruggedly to the side and looked to the floor where the pale body of Sophie was lying. Sophie? I stood there in shock and thought my heart was about to burst in my chest and I held my breath for a moment. “She is dead,” a voice announced, which made my neck hair stand up. The neutral under tone of the arrogant voice of my wife Christine was like a punch to my face. How could that be? Why was Sophie, my 26 year old sister, lying on the magnificent carpet of my salon, while my wife was as healthy as ever? I felt paralized. I staggered blindly back into the crowd until someone gave me his helping hand and directed me to a chair. With an empty face I looked into my palms. What did I do? A sizzling pain flashed through my body and my eyes started to tear. I noticed that my wife’s voice rised again, but she seemed too far away for me to hear what she was saying. I was totally blurred and burried my wet cheeks in my hands, with which I casued this disaster. Sophie… I had killed her and all just because of her, although I just wanted to kill her… The feeling of guilt prevented me from noticing my daughter, who was talking to me from the side to give me some comfort. How could that happen? For an eternity, it was years, I prepared for this day, this action and now, even though I had been so careful, I had lost control unexplainably. Questions shot to my mind. Why had Sophie drunk the tea? Why today? Why not like usual her, who the tea was meant for? I could not make myself understand it. Had it been fate, that my eight years younger sister drunk the tea that was prepped with poison? Her whole life jad still been before her. She had been so happy, balanced and merry. A young woman who had not deserved to die, especially because she had always talked about of fulfilling her dream of a happy family, with kids and a happy husband. I had destroyed all of it, myself included. Her pale face, the empty green eyes where the love had vanished and with it the warmth and life, burned itself into my head as a picture of horror and guilt. The delicate features were white as a sheet, that was only highlighted by her black, full hair which fluttered around her body, while her normally red lips seemed just as pale as the rest of her. It was a picture of the hard and inexcuseable guilt, which lay upon me, no matter if it had been my intention, I nevertheless had her blood sticking to my hands, and because of my mistake, she had died young. A chain of pictures flooded my head, long lost memories of our childhood or a debris of our last years. Everytime she smiled and filled me with joy even in times of sadness, which had gotten scarcer and scarcer in this prison and through which I admired freedom and happiness even more. The sound of her gentle voice, which was still in my ears, how she called my name let my heart, which had already been shattered into pieces, revive again. I was still sobbing when someone shaked me out of my trance. “Excuse me Sir, someone is here to talk to you. I thinkit is a doctor.” Dazingly I raised my head and looked at the old doctor Wilbrun, who I knew from kindergarten, with my swelled eyes. His forhead showed deep wrinkles from the years and his brown hair got thinner and went totally grey. He leaned down towards me, his goatbeard nealry touching my hands. “I am really sorry my count, but I want to announce the reason for my presence to you and your wife! It is very urgent, believe me, otherwise I wouldn’t disrupt you in such a hard hour. I want to offer you my condolence!“ I could just answer with a weak nod, with which I expressed my approval. Then he turned around and asked the people to leave the saloon. I did not even recognise the people who passed me, because my gaze was fixated on two men, who carried the barrow that held my sisters dead body, now covered with a white sheet, on it. Lost in thought, I followed this scenario with my eyes until the doctor brought me back into the present. The saloon was barely empty she came closer so that we could talk better. “My dear count Christine, my dear count Eldorar von Vavvenswalden, it is very displeasing after such a tragic and unexpected early loss of miss Sophievon Vavenswalden, to tell you, but of course it is my duty to do so, but miss Sophie did not die of a natural course, she was poisned. I cannot tell you the exact poison that killed her, we need a bit more time for that, but the symptoms are clear! That was my announcement and if you don’t have any further questions, I would like to retire now. The investigators will arrive shortly, to determine the circumstance of her death!“ “At the moment we don’t have any questions. Thank you that you are going now”, my wife answered with arrogance, which I learned to hate over the years, because it mirrored her deepest insides, cold and superficial. With a short “No, thanks.”, I answered his question. “Well okay, I will let you know about the latest news and until then, good bye,“ the doctor said before leaving the room, and my wife followed him to hold the door for the doctor and then stood there waiting, looking at me. “Come on darling! Better if you have a lie down, you look pale and we have to lock the room so that no important evidence will be lost,“ Christine whispered with her with a fake solace, whereupon I got up and approached the door. Exactly at the moment when I passed her, she whispered: “It is so tragic how fast a life can end. Just imagine that could have been ME!” I stopped instantely, because I did not miss out on her sarcastic tone. I turned around towards her and saw how her cold smile showed triumph and I realised that she knew. She knew that I wanted to kill her. I had a dull feeling in my stomach when I looked into the smiling face of my wife, I did not know how to react. It was so obvious that she knew, how else could she claim that she could have been in Sophie’s spot? She knew it. After a while I turned around and left the room. I was just about to go around a corner of a corridor when she screamed: „I will do everything that needs to be done, because of Sophies death! Rest up!” Her words sounded like bitter honey to me which was followed by a hive of aggressive bees. At first glance, she meant it in a good way, how she threatened me with her words. She knew it and she could say it to everyone any time. But would that change anything? Would it be bad if she would lock me away? Surely not worse than what I had to live through now. Since the beginning of this marriage, my life was not my own anymore! Everything was better than to be the slave in a house of a tyrant, who would decay under the terrible domination and in the moment of freedom through neccessary tasks to loose this freedom and everything that I loved and that was important to me with it. It would not matter, if she would say what she knew, it would be a small piece of freedom, that I would have, freedom from her!